46 Airline Myths Debunked

Flying is a mysterious experience (how does this hunk of metal stay aloft at all), with many myths which have built up around it. Today, we debunk all of them! From whether it's safe to drink the water in the basins to whether you can get an upgrade by being charming. Know some more myths? Email them to cheapflights@southafrica.to and we'll add them to the list.

• Airlines will find your Al Qaeda jokes hilarious. FALSE. Sarah, a 14 year old girl from Rotterdam in the Netherlands, eventually turned herself over to the police and was interrogated, after posting this tweet on the 13th April 2014. American Airlines soon took down their reply so that they could "focus on our customers". The tweet went viral, generating 6,667 retweets & was favourited 2,905 times.

• There's a good chance of surviving whilst stowing away in the undercarriage compartment of a plane. FALSE. About 70% of stowaways die. If they're not killed by the extreme cold & lack of oxygen, they're usually unconscious when the wheel compartment reopens for landing, and fall to their death.

• Almost all aircraft stowaways are male. TRUE. (enough said!)

• You can get an upgrade if you ask nicely enough at the check-in counters. FALSE (99% of the time). Unless you look like Ryk Neethling or Bonang Matheba, it's likely that it'll just annoy the check-in staff that you're being demanding. A better strategy is to join the frequent flyer program, dress smartly and check-in towards the end. Arriving early and asking to be placed at the emergency exit or in the front of the aircraft has the highest likelihood of working.

• If you book together you'll sit together. FALSE. You need to have actually selected your seats for this to happen. Whilst check-in staff will do their utmost to seat you together, sometimes it's just not possible as the plane is full.

• Security personnel will find your sense of humour hilarious when you joke about the bomb you're carrying in your briefcase. FALSE. You'll almost certainly be arrested and have to face a judge.

The Cabin Crew

• You don't need much other than a pretty face & a slim body to be a cabin crew member. FALSE, mostly. Nobody says it, but good looks seem to help with some airliners. However, looks on their own wont be enough.

• South African Airways refers to female flight attendants as "air hostesses". FALSE. In 1973 they used to refer to "air hostesses", but have changed with the times and now refer to "cabin crew".

• The call button is a great way of getting the cabin crew's attention. TRUE but FALSE. It'll get their attention, but unless you have something important to say, pressing the button is akin to standing up with a signboard saying "Hate me"! Clicking fingers to get the cabin crew's attention has the same impact. Not saying thank you or please will score a black mark in their book.

• All male flight attendants are gay. FALSE. There are also straight male members of the cabin crew. We have no ideas of the percentages.

• The term "koffie moffie" is derogatory. TRUE. Expect a punch in the face.

• Tipping is the best way of winning a flight attendant's appreciation. FALSE, they'll likely turn you down to stick to the code of conduct, unless you surreptiously slip the money into their hand. However, writing to the airline to express thanks for the outstanding service offered by a cabin crew member can genuinely help them advance their careers. On the other hand, writing to the airline to complain about a flight attendant can cost them big time.

• Handing high quality chocolate to the flight attendant can help earn favours. TRUE, so long as it's better than what's freely available in the on-board service.

• It's harder to pour fizzy carbonated drinks at cruise altitude. TRUE. The lower air pressure makes the drinks fizz more.

• You can get an upgrade if you are nice enough to the cabin crew on board a flight. FALSE, 99% of the time. If it's going to happen, the upgrade would have happened at check-in or in the airline lounge. Don't embarass yourself by engaging in "stessing" (trying to chat up an air hostess), you're not going to get an upgrade.

• A requirement to become a flight attendant is that you need to know how to swim. TRUE, but an over the top requirement. There has never been an incident on a wide-bodied jet of this having saved a single life.

• Air hostesses are air heads. FALSE! (enough said). Via @BaitiriS

Pilots

• Pilots have a girlfriend in every city. FALSE. Some don't only have 1 per city! Others are in committed relationships, and some just like to be single.

• Pilots enjoy having to deal with the Civil Aviation Authority. FALSE. The CAA is an authority over pilots, and a pilot's natural born instinct is to be the one in charge! It may also mean there has been a problem.

• Pilots earn alot of money. FALSE. Unless they were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, they probably incurred a lot of debt in training to be a pilot, and spend the rest of their lives paying it back! Via @pilotsimon208

• There is very little paperwork involved in being a pilot. FALSE. It's about 50% flying, 50% paperwork. Via @pilotsimon208

• It's exciting being a pilot. FALSE. There are long periods of boredom which suddenly change into moments of pure terror. Via @av8alot

• You require annual medicals & 6-monthly proficiency checks to remain employed. TRUE. Fail this and you're out of a job. Via @av8alot

In-flight myths

• People seldom board the wrong plane & say checking boarding passes on plane is a waste of time. FALSE. Passengers board the wrong plane more often than you think!

• There's no row 13 on planes because it makes the flight safer. FALSE. It's merely set up like that to help the triskaidekaphobiacs feel safer.

• Cellphone and other electronic devices interfere with the take-off or landing of a plane. FALSE, probably (see Wikipedia debate to understand the nuances). In the US the FAA leaves it up to airlines to decide if it's safe, but the FCC bans cellphone use on planes to avoid issues with cellphone towers on the ground, rather than interference on the plane. Europe has started to allow the limited use of cellphone in planes, as more confidence is gained in the technology. via @fit4thabo

• The Mile-High Club is glamorous. FALSE. Think smelly, dirty and cramped.

• Due to their increased stealth abilities after a few drinks, passengers are able to join the mile-high club without cabin crew being aware. FALSE. Flight attendants are fully aware of what you're up to, wish you wouldn't do it, and hope that you'll get it over with quickly. If another passenger complains they'll put a stop to it (it's against the law to disobey a flight attendant).

• It's safe to drink the water on planes. FALSE, sometimes. Water is pumped onto the plane through hoses which are hard to keep free of bacteria, and the bacteria can grow in the plane's tanks. A lot of the time it may be safe, but sometimes it isn't.

• Planes regularly hit birds. TRUE. So, when you smell cooked meat in the plane, you know what just happened, and it's not that Kulula has suddenly decided to serve their sky braai after all (referring to their April Fools joke).

• There are fewer meal choices at the back of the plane. TRUE. Frequently the airline has run out of certain options by the time they get to you.

• Germs are rife in a plane's air because of recirculation. FALSE. Half of the air on every circulations gets dumped & fresh air sucked in. The other half of the air goes through hospitality quality air filters before being recirculated. The real reason we get sick on flights is from what we touch - keep your hands as clean as possible.

• There are no ashtrays on planes because smoking is not allowed. FALSE. All planes are equipped with ashtrays in the toilets, even though smoking is not allowed. This follows Varig Flight 820 crashing in 1973, with a fire possibly caused by a cigarette thrown into the trash can.

• You get drunk faster when flying. FALSE (kind of). The impact isn't from the alcohol, but rather the lower oxgen levels of the air (the air pressure in planes is lower than that at sea level), can cause one to feel a bit intoxicated.

• All seats have equal chances of surviving an accident. FALSE. The chances of surviving depend on how close you are to an emergency exit (see 10 tips for surviving a plane crash).

• We would be safer if plane chairs faced backwards. TRUE. Unfortunately humans don't like the feel of flying backwards.

• Carrying a smoke hood with your increases your chances of surviving a fire on board a plane. TRUE.

• Taking your shoes & socks off whilst flying is a good idea. FALSE, unless you enjoy the possibility of creating a smell & other passengers being annoyed with you.

• You get high from breathing oxygen through emergency masks. FALSE. Contrary to the claim in the movie, "Flight Club", it's a lack of oxygen which makes you feel high, not additional oxygen.

• Pilots can ditch the contents of the toilet's tank whilst in flight above their enemy #1. FALSE. This is such a common complaint in the United States that the Federal Aviation Authority wrote a note to debunk it!

• Airline food tastes terrible because airlines try cut costs & the food was cooked hours before. FALSE (a lot of the time). The loud noise of the engines reduces our perception of the sweetness & saltiness of food.

• We need to be careful of a crazed passenger opening the plane's door in-flight. FALSE. Plane doors are held closed by the air pressure, so it's humanly impossible for somebody to open the door in-flight. Courtesy of @av8alot

• You could get suctioned onto the toilet if sitting on it whilst flushing. FALSE, unless you manage to create a complete seal above the toilet, which is really difficult to do. Adam tried in Mythbusters, and didn't manage.

• The black box on a plane is black. FALSE. It's usually bright orange to help it get found. However, the ELT pinger holder is black. @CalFireNews It was black when first introduced in 1962.

Pricing myths

• Airlines are ripping us off by charging more for shorter flights, like Cape Town to George than for longer flights like Cape Town to Lanseria. FALSE (kind of). There are fewer people flying from Cape Town to George, so economy of scales don't kick in, and the cost per passenger is higher. Having said that, airlines want to turn as high a profit for their shareholders, and if there is not competition on a route they have the opportunity to charge higher fees.

• Budget airlines are always cheaper than full service carriers. FALSE. Whilst the likes of Kulula and Mango Airlines are cheaper than South African Airways and British Airways most of the time, there are occasions (particularly at peak travel times) that full service carriers are cheaper (see our tips for cheap flights in South Africa).

• Airlines make large profits. FALSE. Most of them go bankrupt, and most of those that survive are barely eking out a profit. We can see this with South African Airways which regularly requires Government assistance, and 1time airline that went bankrupt. Comair on the other hand has proved itself pretty adept at turning a profit.

• You get your money back if you cancel your flight. FALSE. Unless you've bought a specific more expensive ticket which has this right, you'll lose some or all of your money.

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